Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Frustration, Exasperation, Annoyance, anger, and Irritation

I look in the mirror, my face looks awful.  I literally look like those beat up moms you see at the store with the kids on each leg crying and yelling.  The same Mom I have been guilty of looking at and rolling my eyes on numerous occasions because she couldn't control her kids. I guess this is Karma.

 
 
2 days I have questioned my parenting, I have doubted everything I thought I knew.  I thought I knew Rylan's cries, whines and actions.  These last 2 days have changed my perception.    
 
I hear and have even said"it's the age", "pre hormones" "growing pains", "he is spoiled", and when this all started I truly believed that.  So I did what I could to make him as comfortable as possible, a dash of Tylenol here, his favorite movie there.  All seemed to have settled his crying and yelling for MAYBE 5 minutes.   SO when I went to bed that night I thought to myself, maybe it was just a bad day.  Then I woke up today.
 
Having a non-verbal Special Needs child is hard......really hard.  
 
Today was a repeat of yesterday, but not as bad.  He is crying and yelling, and as his mom I want to fix whatever is bothering him.  He cant tell me, so I guess and guess.  Steven and I battle a fine line together, if he is acting like a brat we want to make sure he is going to have time out as we do not condone acting like that.  HOWEVER if there really is something wrong, I don't want him to feel bad for trying to tell us something is wrong the only way he knows how.  Not going to lie it stresses me out.
 
I know some of this is a difficult journey ALL parents face regardless of a disable free child or not.....I am just on my own journey, and I don't know what to do.
 
I am exhausted, so I am going to wash my face, brush my teeth and get ready for bed.......but wait for the little one to relax and go to bed so I may.......I really hope tomorrows better.
 
 
 
 

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