Monday, September 24, 2012

new findings and beginnings

The beginning of the school year was a rough one. As soon as Rylan made his way through the Sahuarita Primary school doors, it seemed like he became a magnet for every virus and germ. He ended up going to school a total of three days, needing a hospital trip after two.

As many of you know Steven and I have made the choice to pull him out of school for right now. It just seemed like he was ALWAYS sick!

It was a tough choice, but we told ourselves if he was always going to be sick how much school was he actually going to attend? We had our wedding coming up and So many fun filled family activities at the end of the year, we didnt want him to be miserable.

So homebound it is, For those who do not know to be Homebound means that Rylan will be receiving  a total of 4 hours a week of schooling provided at home.  A certified person will be coming out to work with him.  These people are going to be the special education director, his teacher, speech therapist, and an occupational therapist.  But until this was started we got to hangout!

Rylan has been doing AWESOME! Since he has been feeling great he has been doing soooo many new things. He is vocalizing more, expressing more, etc,etc. It's been GREAT!

Well I have a love for Katy Perry...I admit it. I was soooooo excited to get it her movie. As soon as I put it in, Rylan took it over. and was in LOVE!

SO needless to say we have watched the movie so many times I have it almost memorized.

But today marks day one of his homebound services. Its sooo awesome to see how much Rylan loves to learn and more importantly how smart he is!  I stay in another room so Rylan will focus on his task, but listening to him use the IPAD to answer questions was remarkable.
Miss Rachel teaching Rylan 

It's so nice to be able to experience this new journey with Rylan.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The age of Isolation anxiety

Isolation.....a term I have come to know quite well. Isolation is defined as
an act or instance of isolating, the state of being isolated
I know many special needs moms have been in this boat at one point. It sucks. 

I get frustrated from time to time cause I cant just load up and go somewhere. So many factors determine whether or not we can go out as a family. Every thing from the weather, to how crowded where we are going is. It can be a little depressing.

Here is why I feel Isolated:

Well we decided to let Rylan go back to school part time.  

That didnt last long.He went to school again and That night I noticed Rylan was stating all over the place.  I wasn't to fond of this. So I kept an eye on him, around 9 or 10 o'clock I went into his room to check on him. His stats were low. 

I call Steven and He comes home to take Rylan to the hospital. I took my anxiety meds and I was in no condition to drive.  So off my boys went. 

Around 5 am they returned home. Rylan was on 2 liters of oxygen and running a fever. Neither Boy had slept so Steven went to bed and I took care of Rylan with my main focus breaking the fever. 

That evening Rylan broke his fever and we worked on getting him off the oxygen.  After 3 days he was able to come off completely.

But then that led Steven and I to face the fact that we were going to have to do the inevitable.  Rylan was not going to return to school. He is being placed in the Home Bound program.

Now as a stay at home mom you are home all the time regardless. But with your child in school you have that 5 or 6 hours of freedom that you can do what you want. Run to the store, get your hair done, etc. 

With Rylan no longer in school, this was gonna be a rare treat for me. I know this and Its what is best for my son. 

I have managed to be diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder. After all the ups and downs with Rylan it has begun to take its toll on my body.  I know some people look at anxiety as a bullcrap disorder.....but let me put it this way. There has been days where have I cleaned my entire 3 bedroom/ 2 bathroom house, with a front room and living room, washed all sheets and made beds, towels and laundry in one day.  Because I cant sit still. Not only that I have begun to have health issues.

Its not a bad thing but when you have this disorder and you main focus is your special needs child and nothing makes things worse. 

I have begun falling in a dark hole, where I feel like I have my son in a bubble. I am isolating myself in my house because Im to worried about the germs everywhere else.

I could use a good massage.....