Hump day!

Well today so far has been better, I got up as usual and snuck out of the room for coffee and some me time, which includes watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix while drinking my cup of joe.   Then Steven walks out shortly after, which sucked cause he isn't quite and makes it difficult to hear. LOVE YOU HONEY!!!! =)

9 am rolls around and Rylan is STILL sleeping. This is very much out of Character for him as he normally wakes around 730 because he gets hungry,  If I was on an all liquid diet I would too.  Do to our morning plans of wanting to get him out of the house before the hot Arizona sun starts cooking us, we decided to wake him.

I throw him in the bath and you could tell he was riding the fence on being in a good mood or bad.  So I hope for the best and get him ready for the day reminding him we were going to the swings!

Steven goes ahead and feeds him as I finish getting myself ready, when the doorbell rings.  We both look at each other perplexed as to who was at the door.  Obviously we forgot that Bugweiser (yes that is actually the name) was coming to treat us for termites.   We got them situated and they asked if we could move the van so they could pull the truck into the driveway so they could reach the chemicals easier.  Since we were leaving anyways we decided to just hurry up and go. 

Rylan is in seventh heaven right now, Steven then yells for me and I walk down to see that the lift is not working.  CRAP.  I hang out with Rylan while Steven makes sure it is a dead battery for sure. As soon as he opens the door it was confirmed a dead battery.  Yes I pulled a move that most woman do, I left the lights on last time I drove the van.....which was two days ago.

We hang out a little bit while Steven searches for the jumper cables and cannot find.  Needless to say at that time the bug guys figured out a different way to reach their chemicals. SO a different plan was made.  I was going to take him for a walk, so I ran in and changed and Rylan and I went for a walk around our neighborhood and down to the park.  HE was estactic, honestly its kind of awesome to have a child that gets so excited to go for a walk. 

His whole demeanor was completely changed.  Yeah I feel so stupid to wait so long to think of this but I decided that at least once a week, (im shooting for every Wednesday) I want to get him out of the house. So hopefully he will be good for me......and will tolerate school a little better....

Eventually! lol

Frustration, Exasperation, Annoyance, anger, and Irritation

I look in the mirror, my face looks awful.  I literally look like those beat up moms you see at the store with the kids on each leg crying and yelling.  The same Mom I have been guilty of looking at and rolling my eyes on numerous occasions because she couldn't control her kids. I guess this is Karma.

 

 

2 days I have questioned my parenting, I have doubted everything I thought I knew.  I thought I knew Rylan's cries, whines and actions.  These last 2 days have changed my perception.    

 

I hear and have even said"it's the age", "pre hormones" "growing pains", "he is spoiled", and when this all started I truly believed that.  So I did what I could to make him as comfortable as possible, a dash of Tylenol here, his favorite movie there.  All seemed to have settled his crying and yelling for MAYBE 5 minutes.   SO when I went to bed that night I thought to myself, maybe it was just a bad day.  Then I woke up today.

 

Having a non-verbal Special Needs child is hard......really hard.  

 

Today was a repeat of yesterday, but not as bad.  He is crying and yelling, and as his mom I want to fix whatever is bothering him.  He cant tell me, so I guess and guess.  Steven and I battle a fine line together, if he is acting like a brat we want to make sure he is going to have time out as we do not condone acting like that.  HOWEVER if there really is something wrong, I don't want him to feel bad for trying to tell us something is wrong the only way he knows how.  Not going to lie it stresses me out.

 

I know some of this is a difficult journey ALL parents face regardless of a disable free child or not.....I am just on my own journey, and I don't know what to do.

 

I am exhausted, so I am going to wash my face, brush my teeth and get ready for bed.......but wait for the little one to relax and go to bed so I may.......I really hope tomorrows better.